Rules
by Suuz112
Summary: Insecurity killed the Chad.


**Laaa-deee-daaa.**

**I cannot help but say;**

**I love Chad Dylan Cooper.**

**He is the most perfect character for my writing. I love, love, love him!**

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Chad Dylan Cooper could barely resist the urge to hit himself on the head. Hard.

He was so, _so_ stupid. Such a loser. Such a pathetic boy. What had happened to him?

Why did he have to become a weak, little kid? While he sat on one of the huge expensive chairs in the MacKenzie Falls lounge, he couldn't help but groan. A few of the cast members cast a glance to his face, but quickly looked away when he glared back at them. He felt so disgusted with it all, everything around him, it _smelled_. It _burned_, ripped and laughed at him.

It seemed like everyone was watching him, and yelled at him.

"Chad Dylan Cooper lost! He _lost_!" And _god_, it hurt. "He gets everything he wants, except for her!" And of course, no one said it out loud. But he knew that's what they all thought, they all enjoyed the pain he tried to hide on his face. And they probably even heard his broken sobs, muffled by his pillow. And he wanted to make it stop, so,_ so_ bad. That weakness, it killed him. That insecurity, it felt like everything fell apart. He wasn't Chad Dylan anymore, just some lovesick child that would do anything for her love in return.

Sometimes he thanked God for his acting skills, because he may be broken inside, on the outside he was exactly the same. And maybe that was the only thing he had left, but he clung to it, because what would happen if he let that go, too?

Would she even notice, he asked himself at night. But when that thought passed his mind, he stopped immediately. He wasn't allowed to think about her. Nor those situations. Or her smile. Her eyes. He desperately tried to block everything out, and that's why he took a walk around the set at night, when he couldn't sleep because of her. Chad didn't want to admit it, but god, he hoped he would see her, every time. And she was never there. _Ever_.

Most of the time, he just sat and sat. Watching the stars, humming a song, and like a real actor he kept it all in. When he thought a tear would fall from his eyes, he quickly wiped it away.

Because big boys don't cry, just like his dad always used to say. His father had said many things, and when Chad didn't think of her, he would think about those things.

He was still a failure, he knew, his dad reminded him of that fact every time they saw each other. He didn't even say it directly, but those piercing eyes told him enough for a lifetime.

It was a big surprise for Chad, though, when he noticed a figure coming towards him, a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?" She asked him, and he didn't answer, he just looked the other way. "What, you're going to ignore me?"

He mumbled something incoherent, and she sat next to him, saying nothing at all.

And so they just sat next to each other, he didn't even know why she was there. And she didn't know, either.

"Tawni, why…" He whispered, brokenly, but she cut him off. "It doesn't matter, okay? Just…Just shut up, and kiss me." And he did, and it felt so terribly wrong, it almost felt good.

When they broke apart, she smiled at him. "Chad, when are you going to learn?" She asked him, and he didn't understand what she meant. She saw the confusion in his eyes and continued. "Don't you see the rules?" He shook his head, as she explained. "You can't be in love with Sonny Munroe, because you're Chad Dylan Cooper. You guys are enemies, and you are higher than she is. Those are the rules, Chad! Stick to them!" She yelled, clearly angry.

A dry chuckle escaped his lips as she fumed, and he shook his head again. "Tawni, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper," he said, still laughing, and edging closer to her. She came closer to him, too, expecting something different. But he just stared into her eyes, a new glint in his eyes, she didn't understand. "Fuck the rules." He pronounced every word with elegance, and he left her standing on the pavement, before she could say anything back.

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**Muhahaha.**

**I would like it, if you review. :o**

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**Will ya?**

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